D’Var Torah

5785 (October 11, 2024) Kol Nidre

Rabbi Micah Friedman

Shabbat Shalom and Shanah Tovah. 

At the very beginning of Yom Kippur, we declare joyously three times:

וסלחתי כדברך
I forgive in accord with your word

Then, we make a blessing that we generally recite on a joyous, celebratory occasion: Shehecheyanu.

We begin with this joyous, celebratory declaration that G-d forgives.

So, Why do we need to spend the next 25 hours (24 now) fasting and praying?

Where we are now in our service is where we would end on any other shabbat, or any evening. But, for 5 prayer services on Yom Kippur we add an entire section of tefillot that we call Selichot – Apologies. 

Tonight, I will make a case that this day of prayer and fasting is not so that G-d will forgive us. This day of prayer and fasting is for us, so that we will do our part in the work of forgiving and trying again – of Teshuvah. 

We need to actively remind ourselves of who we are and who our G-d is in order to be able to join together in the communal spiritual work that sustains each of us and enables us to grow each year. 

Let’s look towards the joyous place where we begin in order to explore the psycho-spiritual journey that Yom Kippur invites us to take. 

The words of וסלחתי כדברך are first spoken after Het haMeraglim – the sin of the 10 spies who were sent to bring back a report of the land of Israel and instead conveyed a message of despair and defeatism. In the narrative of the book of Numbers, G-d almost abandons the people to the wilderness, but Moshe reminds G-d of the journey on which G-d has guided the people thus far – through the suffering of enslavement in Mitzrayim and through the trials of the wilderness journey to this point . Moshe calls upon G-d’s better attributes – the attributes of love and mercy which G-d revealed to Moshe after the sin of the Golden Calf – Het haEgel. In essence, Moshe engages in a long prayer for love, mercy and patience and G-d agrees to forgive us in accord with his words. 

Moshe models for us how to not give up hope – how to remember who we are, where we’ve come from – how we’ve already persevered to be here – and the positive caring characteristics that are essential if we are to turn a new page in this book of life and move forward into the future. 

This is meant to demonstrate for us the avodah of Yom Kippur and of Teshuvah – the psycho-spiritual work of this day. We remember who we are, where we’ve come from, and what characteristics we praise.

If we look closely at the words of Selichot – the extra prayers we add to each service on Yom Kippur – we can see that Selichot reflects the same precise actions that Moshe modeled in the wilderness. 

We say

“כי אנו עמיך ואתה אלהינו אנו בניך ואתה אבינו
We are Your people and You are Our G-d, We are Your children and You are Our Parent

In this iconic aspect of our Yom Kippur Selichot, we remind ourselves Who we are and the nature of our relationship with G-d. 

Then, we come to the Shalosh Esrei Middot haRachamim – the 13 attributes of compassion. The centerpiece of our Selichot becomes our calling out of G-d’s traits of compassion, mercy, patience and forgiveness. We are reminding ourselves of Who G-d is, how G-d has forgiven our ancestors before us, and the kinds of attributes we consider worthy of reverence: Compassion, Grace, Patience, Love, and Honesty.

Eventually, as we get towards the end of Selichot, our prayers progress into a primal call “Aneinu” – Answer us. We repeat over and again “answer us, answer us” and, even as we call to G-d we hope that lifting our voices will inspire us to live out the answer to our prayers.   

In our tradition, we understand that G-d’s aspect of forgiveness is constant. We say tonight:

דַּרְכְּךָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ לְהַאֲרִיךְ אַפֶּֽךָ לָרָעִים וְלַטּוֹבִים. וְהִיא תְהִלָּתֶֽךָ
It is Your way, our God, to slow Your anger – to breathe deeply and forgive,  the wicked and the good; and that is Your praise. 

But, for the G-dly forgiveness and patience to impact our lives, we need to take an active role in a personal effort to forgive ourselves and to forgive others. From there, from that internal place, we can start afresh in the new year. 

On a certain level, this is a fundamentally individual and internal process. We need to cultivate these traits of patience and forgiveness within ourselves. However, at the same time, on another level, this work is not possible unless we can rely on each other – unless we know that we are each making an effort towards this end. 

Each person who brings their heart and soul to our communal avodah bolsters and strengthens the avodah of other individuals. This can be one way to understand all of the “we” language that we use today. In our confessional prayers we say: אשמנו בגדנו גזלנו and we say על חטא שחטאנו 

אנו we נו we.

We confess in plural – even to sins we individually may not have committed – because we know that our communal confession creates the space needed for individual people within our congregation to truly give voice to their own wrongdoings and mistakes. 

This way in which collective action and personal action is intertwined also provides a lens through which we can understand and relate to another widespread custom on Kol Nidrei night. After praying together, we listen to an appeal from a leader of the local synagogue for each of us to do our part – through time and money – to ensure the well-being of our shared community. 

Just as our personal prayer – our individual psycho-spiritual efforts to repent, forgive, and grow – is strengthened by the contributions of others, so too our synagogue as an organization requires the contributions of everyone in order to be strong and to support each of us in accordance with our needs and desires as we move through the journey of life. 

In a moment, even though we have already celebrated that G-d forgives, we will continue to pray Selichot – prayers of forgiveness. These words – and the words we will turn to tomorrow – have the power to shape us into the people we will become in this new year. Hopefully, people of patience and compassion, forgiveness and generosity. People who understand that our authentic and heartfelt contributions to the community create space for others to brings their hearts into our sanctuary as well. 

Tonight – and over the next day – let us each bring our heart and soul to this room and to our shared avodah here with the understanding that doing so will help both each of us and the other people sitting here with us.

Over the year to come, let us each bring our heart and soul to the work of building and strengthening our community. 

Let’s use our words to remember who we are and the traits of the G-d Whom we worship:

יי אל רחום וחנון ארך אפיים ורב חסד ואמת 
Adonai – Master of Compassion, Grace, Patience, Love, and Honesty.

Let us cultivate the forgiveness that we need to start fresh in this new year. 

G’mar Hatimah Tovah!r.